Choices
by Creirdyddlydd
Summary: The Doctor thinks Rose made her choice, and it isn't him. Rose thinks the Doctor made his choice, and it isn't her. They're both completely wrong.


This invaded my thoughts. I normally don't like the jealousy fics. Keep those third parties out and let the Doctor and Rose be happy, dang it! But this has been floating around in my head for a week now, so I figured I'd expand my horizons slightly. Still a happy ending, though! Because anything other than a happy ending makes me mad.

* * *

Choices

* * *

Rose was relieved to have the Doctor with her again, but she just couldn't let the walls she had built over the years in Pete's World fall completely. In all her fantasies and daydreams while they worked to find the Doctor, she had always imagined ending up back on the TARDIS. If that had been the case, Rose felt certain she would be more relaxed. With time and space at his disposal, new faces every day, countless adventures to choose from and a bigger on the inside ship that had been his home for centuries, Rose would have carried far fewer worries than she did now.

Here on Earth, there was very limited space travel, time in a linear fashion, the same faces day after day, less adventures to choose from and a flat that was the size you would expect it to be with doors and carpets, and Rose was almost certain the Doctor would get bored and run. If that happened, she would only survive if she didn't let him in completely. And not letting him in completely was hurting both of them. She knew that, but her fear for her heart kept her protecting it.

They had fallen into the same pattern as they had enjoyed on the TARDIS, more than friends, less than lovers, in love with each other but afraid to do anything about it. Despite his heartfelt declaration on the beach and her answering kiss, their relationship wasn't any different than it had always been.

Rose was simultaneously thankful and heartbroken about that. Heartbroken because she did want more, she always had. It was hard to love someone so fully, but only be their best mate. And she had been certain that their relationship was about to progress just before Canary Wharf happened.

On the flip side of that, she was thankful that they hadn't moved forward. If they had progressed into a more romantic relationship, it would destroy her when he ran. As things stood now, she had a chance - slim though it may be - to come out the other side intact.

* * *

They were in the local pub, one month after their desertion by the Time Lord, as Torchwood celebrated the successful restoration of the stars and the completion of the Dimension Cannon project. The debriefings were over, the cannon broken down and the employees who had worked long and hard on the mission were enjoying some well-deserved revelry.

Rose and the Doctor had enjoyed a few dances together, giggling and laughing as they discovered if the Doctor's new part-human body still had the moves. As they sat to cool down, one of the young technicians who had helped build the Dimension Cannon asked Rose to play some billiards with him. The offer had been extended to the Doctor as well, but he had declined, claiming his advanced knowledge of physics would give him an unfair advantage. With a good-natured eye roll, Rose had gone to play the game, leaving the Doctor seated at the bar.

As they started to play, everything went downhill.

Rose was not flirting. She absolutely was not. But she was a bit rubbish at billiards and Dennis was helping her correct her hold on the cue stick. It probably looked like flirting, but Rose, Dennis and Dennis's girlfriend - who was also playing - knew what it was and was not.

* * *

The Doctor, who was seated at the bar on the other side of the pub, saw it as something is wasn't. He saw another man standing close to Rose, putting his arms around her and the two of them giggling as her posture and stance were adjusted. The Doctor felt his heart clench and sniffed slightly. He had been waiting for a sign from Rose, some signal that she was ready to move forward with him. It hadn't come and the Doctor figured this was Rose making her choice. Best mates it would be.

One of the researchers from R&D sat down next to the Doctor. Being the social sort he was, he didn't notice anything amiss as they started to chat.

* * *

Rose shot a look over to the Doctor, hoping to catch his eye and share her giggles with him as the cue ball flew off the table on her next attempt. But the Doctor wasn't looking. He was engrossed in conversation with Erica and Rose felt her chest and stomach clench unpleasantly.

The Doctor had a type, whether he would admit to it or not, and Erica fit the bill perfectly. She was blonde, beautiful, brilliant and had a good sense of humor. Rose genuinely liked Erica, but in that moment she felt a flash of hatred for the young scientist before she made a valiant attempt to tamp it down. It wasn't Erica's fault that the Doctor was gorgeous and charming. And it also wasn't Erica's fault that she was damn near perfect.

As she watched, the sinking feeling in her torso grew as Erica invited the Doctor to dance and he accepted. Rose felt relief that it was a fast song, but that didn't matter when Erica grabbed the Doctor's arm, wrapped it around her waist and pressed her back to his front. Rose saw the Doctor's eyes close and then hers filled with tears. She mumbled an apology to Dennis and his girlfriend before hurriedly making her way out of the pub. The Doctor had made his choice, then.

* * *

The Doctor accepted Erica's invitation to dance. Rose had made her decision so there was no reason not to dance with the young woman next to him. From what he understood of human society, a dance didn't mean anything, anyway. Erica led him to the dance floor and he was more than a little shocked that she had chosen to dance with him the way she had, pressing her back to his front. He was about to gently disentangle himself and dance in a less provocative position when a burst of pain flashed through his mind and he closed his eyes against the sensation.

He was still mostly Time Lord and therefore still telepathic. And he and Rose had always shared a rather strong empathic link. There was no doubt that the pain and betrayal he had felt came from his pink and yellow girl. He looked up in time to see her rush from the pub and quickly pulled back from Erica. With a barely audible, 'sorry', he hurried from the pub to see what was wrong with Rose.

* * *

Rose was mad at herself as she stormed into her flat, trying to erase the vision of the Doctor enjoying Erica's erotic advances from her mind. She was trying not to think about it, but her thoughts kept straying to the two of them. And she was furious with herself, because even though she had thought she was keeping her barriers up, the reality was she was still devastated and had still hoped that they would end up together.

She had only been home long enough to set down her keys and strip off her jacket before the Doctor came in the door. He took a quick, concerned glance at her face and immediately pulled her into a hug when he noticed the tears in her eyes. "What's wrong, Rose? What happened?"

Rose gently pushed him back so they could talk. "I won't trap you, Doctor. If your decision is Erica, I won't stand in your way. She's a good person, beautiful, clever, kind. You'll be happy together."

The Doctor looked a little bewildered and confused. "Erica? Why would I want to be with Erica? And you haven't trapped me, Rose. I want to be here." His confused tone turned a little bitter. "Unless you want me to go because of Dennis."

Rose's eyebrows shot toward her hairline. "What _about_ Dennis?"

The Doctor stared at his shoes and shoved his hands in his pockets as he spoke. "I saw him all over you at the billiards table. If that's who you've chosen, I won't get in the way."

A flicker of hope ignited in Rose's chest as she realized the Doctor had misunderstood something. "Dennis's _girlfriend_ suggested he help me correct my stance. I'm absolute rubbish at billiards." She gave a tiny, shy smile. "Kept missing the cue ball and when I did manage to hit it, it just sort of gave this sad little roll and didn't go anywhere." She paused to take in the Doctor's hopeful expression before continuing. "There was the one time it flew off the table when I hit it. But I managed to hit nothing while we played. It was sad, really."

"So, you aren't interested in Dennis?"

Rose smiled softly at the Doctor, really hoping this conversation was leading where she thought it was. "Not even a little." Then the image of the Doctor's eyes closing as Erica pressed her bum into his pelvis invaded her mind and her smile vanished. "What about Erica?"

The Doctor shook his head. "I only accepted the dance because I thought you had chosen Dennis."

"I saw you, Doctor. You closed your eyes as she pushed back into you. That's something blokes usually do only if they're really enjoying something."

The Doctor shook his head with a little grin and reached for Rose's hand. "Tell me what you felt when you saw us. When you saw the way she positioned us."

Rose tried to swallow the lump in her throat, but still croaked out an answer that wasn't anywhere near adequate enough to describe the heartbreak she had felt. "It hurt. I thought you had made a choice and it wasn't me."

The Doctor pulled her a little closer. "We've always been close enough to pick up on each other empathically, Rose. It's why we always seem to know what to say to each other or know what buttons to push. I felt the flash of hurt and betrayal from you. That's why I closed my eyes. And I didn't intend to dance with her in that position. I was getting ready to move away from her when I felt your emotions."

Rose couldn't squash her lingering jealousy. "You were still going to dance with her, though."

The Doctor looked confused, again. "Did I do something wrong? I thought a dance didn't mean much between humans of this time period. There were groups of friends dancing together all over the dance floor. Partners being traded and people dancing with their friend's significant other. I thought it was just a fun, social activity."

Rose sighed, completely put at ease by his response. "Normally, yes, it's just a way for people to have fun. But if someone's been chatting you up - like Erica had been - it could become a precursor for leaving together and heading off to someone's flat which can - and often does - lead to shagging."

The Doctor flushed brightly, something new to this part-human Doctor that Rose found endearing. "I wasn't interested in shagging her," he said quickly, raising his hands in an almost defensive gesture.

Rose smiled at the Doctor. "Good."

With the charged atmosphere, Rose felt bravery she rarely felt seeping in. She didn't want any more of these misunderstandings. "Doctor, how long before you run?"

There was a headshake from the man in front of her. "I'm only running if you're with me, Rose. I know I've complained about the domestics and the linear lifestyles of humans. But I never thought I could have this sort of life, so I said those things to convince myself mostly, that I didn't want them. But I do want to experience this life with you. And there's plenty of adventure to be had on this little planet. If you're with me, I'm sure it'll all be brilliant."

Rose let those barriers - that had been fairly pathetic to begin with - fall. She stepped up to the Doctor until she could feel the fabric of his suit against her own clothes. "You know how you said you thought I had chosen Dennis?"

The Doctor nodded, struck silent by the intensity in Rose's eyes. "My choice is you, every time."

The Doctor gave her a small grin as he leaned closer. "And mine will always be you," he whispered against her lips just before his mouth covered hers.


End file.
